I don’t want to study. I don’t like it at all. I wasn’t born to be a studious man. I just realize that. All my life, during elementary I used to be a good student, but now everything turns bad. I really hate school. I hate the subjects. I hate my teachers. Despite of that, I don’t know how my grades are high if I never study. And I never cheat.
Sometimes I feel that my parents are proud of me because I seem to be a good student (according to my grades), because I don’t drink, as my friends do, because I don’t smoke, because I don’t use to go out, and because I have a nice girl. When I feel that, I feel good, a good son, and in fact, I don’t want to let them down, but I think this is a fake. It’s just an illusion. It's not the real life.
My parents don’t know what I really want, and even I tell them my plans, I won’t let me to do all the things I want to do after school. They are such a close mind people. They believe I have to graduate from high school, then from college, get a very well paid job (even I don’t like it), make a family, have kids, and live the life as a fat rich. I can’t even imagine that, I prefer to kill myself.
I’m beginning to think that I don’t belong to this world.
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